Welcome back to a special edition of my monthly reflections 🎉

This newsletter has three purposes:

1. A dedicated time for me to reflect on and draw meaning out of the last month ✏️.
2. An entry for conversation – if anything of what I write awakens something in you, I encourage you to reply 🙋‍♂️.
3. An insight into my thoughts regarding the topics I write about 💭.

If a person you know would benefit from what I write about, forward this newsletter to them! At the bottom, they'll find a link in case they want to subscribe, too.

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Special edition

In this edition, I will continue the tradition of reflecting on the previous month and I'll also reflect on the whole last year and lastly, share a bit about what is to come in 2023. That lengthens this reflection. My previous reflections are now available online. Take your time and enjoy!

Let's start with the 2022, then go into December, and lastly 2023.

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Resolutions

I shared some of my 2022 resolutions with you in my January reflections: doing 12 bike trips and sending out 12 monthly reflections.

To be honest, I didn't think the latter through - I sent my first reflections in February (reflecting on January). Doing that monthly would result in 11 reflections sent out in 2022 (because the December reflections (that you are reading right now) are sent in 2023).

I combined August and September, so I total 10 reflections sent out in 2022. And I'm pretty happy with that!

Regarding the bike trips, I didn't anticipate on neither the weeks of rain in spring nor the heatwave in summer and all the travelling. I'm far from my goal but okay with that, too.

I also wanted to complete three specific personal development courses (Total Breakthrough Training, Money EQ, and Being an Exponential Coach). I started all of them but didn't finish any.

However, I started and also completed a whole bunch of other personal development courses, most of them on Insight Timer (Manifest Your Ultimate Dreams & Goals, Chakra Cleansing With Deep Cello, Release Stress Through Sound & Frequency, The Wisdon of our Wounds: Healing from Trauma, Shadow Work for Healing, Simplificant la Teva Vida Des del Dia a Dia, Creating & Holding Space for Grief & Loss, Set Healthy Boundaries & Let Go Of People-Pleasing, Quantum Jumping, Ultimate Relationship Programme).

That's the problem of being so open-minded: I always find new things that capture my attention. I learnt about the "Big 5" personality traits (openness, consciousness, extroversion, agreeableness, neuroticism) and, for a long time, thought neuroticism was the only "negative" one.

Sure, being too agreeable could backfire a bit but, all in all, the first four are positive, right? So I thought, until listening to Jordan Peterson explaining the downside of being open-minded.

I consider myself very open-minded and because of my variety of interests and strong curiosity about anything and everything, it can be hard to stay focused.

Having varied interests and being a generalist isn't bad. But it makes it harder to feel competent. And that is one of the 3 basic psychological needs...

That being said, I will probably still finish the Total Breakthrough Training and I'm sure I'll find other courses that'll pique my curiosity.

I think it's healthy to not take my resolutions too serious. At the same time, reflecting on my openness, I am reminded of what Kerwin Rae said about his ADHD, namely that it meant not being able to deal with boring things! Something to think about...

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The habits that shaped 2022

In my March reflections, I wrote about habits. And I told you I'd let you know when I had additional insights. Well, I have one.

Sometimes habits are best built slowly, one at a time. Other times, radical change and many new habits at once work well, too. And there's science to back up both approaches...

One day in October, I decided to have a 2-hour morning routine, packed with positive habits: walking, strength training, meditation, breathwork, listening to a personal development course, podcast, or audiobook, affirmations, and gratitude. That's seven habits at once!

But it worked. I continue doing not all but most of them in the morning: around 6:45 I leave the house to walk along the coast. I listen to a personal development course or audiobook, do some stretching and sometimes some strength training, meditate, do my affirmations and express gratitude. At around 9 AM I'm back in my office, ready to start my day.

I even continued the habits while I was in London for a couple of days!

Another habit that accompanied me in 2022 was seeking to simplify. I've spent a good portion of my early 20s living minimalistically, even half a year just out of a small backpack.

With the years, life seemingly has become more complex. I can afford more things, too - which allows me to think less about the necessity of a purchase.

I'm a fan of simplicity, though. And I'm continuously looking to simplify my professional and personal life to make more space for quality rather than quantity.

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Productivity blueprint

I've been able to be pretty productive whenever I wanted. What helped me most were three strategies that I want to share, in order of importance.

1: Do what I least like first

I'm probably not the only one pushing things to mañana and then again. These things that I procrastinate doing aren't necessarily huge tasks but they are, for some reason, something I don't like as much and avoid. However, the longer I don't check them off my list, the bigger they become. Doing them first has made a big difference. This habit is also known as "eat that frog".

2: Eisenhower Matrix

This helps prioritise. I now do it mostly automatically but here's the idea behind it: All the things you do in a day or week, can be put into one of the following boxes: urgent & important, not urgent & important, urgent & not important, or not urgent & not important.

Try to get the urgent & important stuff (aka putting out fires) out of the way to focus on the not urgent & important things. Also, make time for these in your schedule. They are things like eating healthy, doing sports, planning the next quarter, etc.

You want to automate or delegate what's urgent & not important, minimise or remove entirely what's not urgent & not important - like checking your socials.

3: Brain Focus

I use the app Brain Focus to help me do the things I identified as important but not so pleasant or not so easy. I follow a schedule of 17 minutes of focused work, then a 3-minutes break. While the app is running, do-not-disturb is on automatically. Knowing that it'll be just 17 minutes makes it much easier to get started.

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Solitary xmas

Just before Christmas, I spent a couple of days in London to meet a friend. Unfortunately, when I came back, I had COVID. I spent the 24th of Dec until the 6h of Jan quarantined. No hugs for Christmas. But, luckily, I have a caring partner who took good care of me, preparing the quarantine and providing me with healing food and drinks.

Now I'm feeling good again and full of energy for the new year!

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People accelerator?

I spent the last days of the year reviewing applications for the mastermind that I started. In my September reflections, I shared about piloting a mastermind within my Emerging Men community.

Now, I've started a new and revised version. In working with startup accelerators in the last years, I've thought a lot about creating an accelerator not for startups but for individuals.

It occurred to me a couple of days ago, that the mastermind is exactly that: a space in which we accelerate each other to be who we want to be and achieve what we want to achieve.

During the next three months, the six of us will meet weekly to review our days and support each other with advice, accountability, and encouragement.

I'm considering launching another one focused on accelerating entrepreneurial endeavours and side hustles. Are you interested? Let me know!​

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1 year stealth-mode

For one year, I've been meeting weekly with Liesel Mendoza (Founder of The Mentoring Club) and Dr Lesley Peterson (Mentoring Specialist) to create a corporate mentoring programme called LEAD.

The acronym stands for Leverage talents, Empower people, Accelerate careers, and Deliver success. Find out more about LEAD.​

Until recently, the developments were behind the curtain but now our offer is out. Did you know that 71% of Fortune 500 companies offer corporate mentoring programmes?

I didn't, but it makes sense! Receiving mentoring is a great way to learn on the job as well as be more integrated in the organisation. And being a mentor allows to reflect and pass on what one has learnt. It's also good for the bottom line. It's a win-win-win.

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Getting used to...

We humans have the amazing ability to get used to our environment. It allows us to live and even thrive in many different situations.

But it also makes us less aware of the negative impact we're having on the environment because we forget how it used to be.

There are stories of sailers first arriving to the Caribbean, whose waters boasted with life. There were abundant fish in all the colours in the reefs. It was something they had never seen in Europe.

I remember that 20+ years ago, I used to go to the same beach that we have in front of our house now. The rocks were full of crabs! They'd go into hiding but walking on the rocks, I could see life everywhere.

When I go there now, I don't see a single crab. Not seeing a single crab, unfortunately, has become normal for me.

Can you think of any similar experience you've made?

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Cold water healing

In 2022, I've sought out opportunities to expose myself to cold water. It helps me reduce soreness post-workout but even without exercising, I enjoy the cold and it provides me with a host of health benefits.

Some of the places I went in.

What I notice most immediately is that having my head in the cold water neutralises my negative mood. It's also an immune system booster.

Where we live, the sea temperature changes a lot (I wrote about that last month). The mountain creeks are a bit more constant and always fresh.

I haven't done an icebath yet but would love to. Maybe 2023 will bring that.

Let's transition with that into the forecast of 2023!

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More travelling

Not much is fixed yet but there are many more travel plans in 2023 than the last years. For many reasons...

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Teach less

I've been teaching as much as possible since 2018. That might be much less than you think because the classes are always on Saturdays (and in the beginning some odd Friday).

The course that I'm most passionate is Coaching. And it's the one I'll continue,. All the other courses will be dropped.

I focus on what's best. That gives me more time to focus on alternative activities that I enjoy more than teaching the other courses.

I've actually taught many courses in three different degrees over the years:

• Biopsychosocial Model
• Aspects of Health (both MSc Clinical Psychology & Empowerment)
• Intro to Psychology
• Psychology as Profession and Professional Ethics
• General Psychology 1: Perception and Cognition (to which I wrote the primary literature, too)
• General Psychology 2: Motivation and Emotion (to which also I wrote the primary literature)
• Workplace Health Promotion (all BSc Psychology), and
• New Models in Disease and Therapy (BSc Medicinal Studies)

I've learnt a lot teaching these courses and am ready to let them go.

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Consulting coaches

Using my knowledge from founding, running my own coaching practice and working with startups, I've started helping other coaches with their businesses.

That could be co-creating an outreach strategy, newsletter, landing page or improving, simplifying, and automating processes such as client sign-ups and a lot more.

It's not something I've focussed on but I enjoy it a lot! I expect to do more of this in 2023.

Podcasting

In my Jan '22 reflections, I wrote that I already had thought about launching a podcast for some time... and that that would probably be a sign.

I actually found a note from 8-Nov-2020 regarding launching a podcast - even with the same name! And I knew earlier still I was thinking about one with a different name!

I've been struggling to define what I'd talk about in the podcast because of my wide variety of interest (as described above). Finally, I've decided to call the podcast More Life because all of my interests somehow can be fit in.

In it, my guests and I explore questions such as "how can we feel more alive?" and "how can we create more aliveness around us?"

I've got two recording dates in my calendar already and the launch date is mid February so I'll let you know more in my next month's reflections!

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Made it!

And that's my reflection for December and 2022!

There are two things I'd like you to consider:

• Reflect on my reflections. I'd be happy to receive a reply from you.
• Forward this newsletter to a person you think would appreciate it.

Until next month,

Jorim