Welcome back to my reflections 🎉

This newsletter has three purposes:

1. A dedicated time for me to reflect ✏️.
2. An entry for conversation – if anything of what I write awakens something in you, I encourage you to send me back a message🙋‍♂️.
3. An insight into my thoughts regarding the topics I write about 💭.

If a person you know would benefit from what I write about, forward this newsletter to them! At the bottom, they'll find a link in case they want to subscribe, too.

Kalawitan Sky Marathon

On March 24th I finished my first sky marathon. 42km in the mountains (close to the sky) of the Mountain Province in the Philippines 🇵🇭.

I hear people often use the metaphor life (or whatever else) is not a sprint but a marathon. I think that's especially true if you think of a mountain marathon. You know why?

1. It is common not to run the whole time but have periods of running, walking and even stopping to have a break and eat and drink.
2. Navigating the trail and making sure not to get lost is part of the challenge.
3. It's important to be aware of one's finite energy and distribute it wisely.
4. Mindset is important.

(The first two are not usually part of street marathons)

It took me 12 hours to complete the race. We started at 4 AM with an immediate climb up in the burnt forest. That was quite an experience. There were still small fires burning and smoking left and right to the trail!

The sunrise was simply epic! I was on top of the first mountain range and the sun rose EXACTLY behind the mount Kalawitan - the highest point and the name-giver of the race!

The trail then continued down along the river and through the rice paddies, which provided a stunning green environment:

The sun was hot immediately and I followed fellow Filipino trail runner James in pulling up my buff to protect my face from sun burn and dehydration. I had never seen anyone do this before coming to the Philippines but it seems to be common - also among bike riders!

Throughout the whole sky marathon, I used one simple and very effective mental technique. Many people have asked me about it - 12 hours is a long time to keep going and not giving up. My technique was to not think. I told you it was simple! Not think but run. Not think but be aware of my body. Not think but take in the surroundings. It works - try it out 😉

At 4 PM, much later than I expected, I finally crossed the finish line. Exhausted but not as exhausted as I could've been - I had to slow down my pace drastically because of knee pain.

I actually attempted my first ultra marathon, the 60k MiM Penyagolosa in April. For that I got an even better buff. Unfortunately that didn't stop the knee pain to come up again - I had expected that but wanted to try anyway. I dropped out at 30km.

For now, I'm recovering my knee but am looking forward to the next challenge!

Workation?

My stay in the Philippines was part of a bigger experiment: working while travelling (aka workation). For a whole month, I only worked European mornings / Philippine afternoons. I had all mornings and evenings off to explore, train for the marathon, eat new food and meet new people.

Did it work?

Yes. I reduced my working hours but that forced me to prioritise. All my clients were able to adapt to me working 6 hours ahead of the typical time.

Would I do it again?

Yes, I will. And I will change things! Focus wasn't easy because I didn't have great workplaces most of the time. Some of the places I stayed at were disappointing. I also got a bit bored at one point when I was in Baguio for a long time. Here's what I would do differently:

1. Don't use Airbnb. Visit before booking. In the Philippines holiday rentals mostly go through Facebook.
2. Check the WiFi speed with my phone before committing to stay.
3. Make sure I have a good workplace and that it has good lighting (or bring my own).
4. Connect even more with the locals (that doesn't get boring).

The smaller the city/village, the easier it seems to connect with locals. I was invited to meet, have dinner, go for runs and hikes, stay over, go to a tribal reunion and much more because of being interested in and open to connecting with locals.

Actually, two weeks before the marathon, local ultra runner Miguel invited me to do a 30k training run around Mt Ulap. I set a personal record for duration (which I then broke in the sky marathon).

The Benefit of Short-Term Thinking

Another thing I learnt in the Philippines... I often encourage myself as well as others I speak with to think long-term. But there's a benefit to short-term thinking, too! Of course it wouldn't be black and white!

I wanted to buy some magnesium pills for my marathon. I went to a drug store and explained what I was looking for. She showed me the jar she had. I said, "that's way more than I need" upon which she answered "they are 8 pesos each" (that's 13 cents). So, I bought 4 magnesium pills instead of a jar of 400.

Very convenient when travelling! And this doesn't only apply to pills at the drug store. I consider myself a minimalist and prefer having fewer things. But you know what I have a lot? Leftovers of things that I only used a part of.

I'm now asking myself more often how much of a thing I actually need rather than going for higher quantities (even if that may mean paying a little extra).

Finally a Retreat!

I started Emerging Men in January 2019 and it took years to finally organise a retreat... but this September we'll have our first Men's Retreat!​

I'm proud and nervous but mostly I'm looking forward to finally meeting men in person that I've been seeing on a screen almost weekly (in some cases for years!)! Because of location, it's been hard to build community in-person, so this is even more important to me!

We'll focus on connecting, doing things that aren't possible virtually, challenging each other, and having fun! We got the confirmation from the accommodation just last week and it will provide a great playground for all our activities:

To provide even more value than the retreat itself, we include a three month group coaching to prep and integration calls afterwards.

If you're interested in knowing more, let me know 😊

Freedom in Relationship

Last summer, my partner Nic and I decided to part ways. It was tough! We knew we loved each other and that it was not possible to be together the way we triggered each other continuously.

I needed that space. I needed it mostly because I had unprocessed emotions that had to do with her and having her around me made it impossible to process them.

I also needed the space to see myself as an individual again rather than a part of a couple only. I did a lot of inner work and asked her to be my partner again this spring.

It was strange and scary. In other areas of my life I was very aware of societal patterns and that I didn't have to follow them. But when it came to my relationship... well, there was more work to be done to break free from internalised expectations!

Of course, it may be possible to do these things while in a relationship but for me, the break was really good. In February we got back together and have been able to give each other more space within the relationship.

I see that both of us have grown so much since last summer and am proud of us! The grief of losing a child leads to breakups more often than not and we certainly have experienced that difference in grieving and how it turned on the other. And we also were aware of it and willing enough to do the work!

The Portuguese Summer

We'll spend the summer in Portugal! First, we'll join the European Innovation Academy in Porto for three weeks and then wander around Portugal to eventually end up in Ponte de Lima in September for event around regeneration and collaboration.

Let's see how well I can implement my workation learnings!

Currently Learning

I've committed myself again to Functional Patterns, a training regimen to improve posture and overall health. I used it already to correct my scoliosis and with the knee pain from the marathon I know there is more posture and gait correction to be done.

I actually plan on getting certified with them in October to learn even more and also be more confident in helping others overcome chronic physical pain.

I'm currently reading The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté. I've listened to his In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts as well as watched the Wisdom of Trauma documentary - both highly recommended. The current book is depicting the connection of trauma, stress, and health - physical and mental. I find it easy to read but that's probably because I'm already deep in the topic. I'm expecting to use what I learn personally and professionally.

Actually, I anticipate that additional to the mind-based coaching, I'll more and more incorporate more somatic practices into my work. It feels right.

Made it!

And that's my reflection for the last couple of months!

There are two things I'd like you to consider:

• Reflect on my reflections. I'd be happy to receive a reply from you.
• Forward this newsletter to a person you think would appreciate it.

Until next month,

Jorim